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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898387">Helpless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebsfan/pseuds/Phoebsfan'>Phoebsfan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Alias (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2003-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2003-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebsfan/pseuds/Phoebsfan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>My only thought was that Agent Vaughn had hurt her in some way, that or someone had hurt him. I never imagined the truth.</p>
<p>Jack seemed invincible.</p>
<p>"Dad has been compromised. He's in SD-6 custody right now."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jack Bristow/Irina Derevko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Helpless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I wanted to reach through the glass and pull her too me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was trying valiantly to keep a straight face, but her cheeks were stained and her eyes red. I wondered what could have happened to shake her so deeply. My Sydney was strong. She didn't break easily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But her jagged edges were showing and I was afraid she would fall apart if someone didn't help keep her together. My only thought was that Agent Vaughn had hurt her in some way, that or someone had hurt him. I never imagined the truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jack seemed invincible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Dad has been compromised. He's in SD-6 custody right now." She barely got it out before she broke down again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The information refused to process. It rang in my head and bounced off my gray matter, but it would not sit still long enough to sink in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jack.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Compromised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Never.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I swallowed and struggled to keep a straight face, my eyes darting from the floor to my daughter's sobbing form. She'd forgotten I was standing there, so lost in her own pain that she couldn't see out of her little world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My eyes started to sting as the truth seeped in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had him. They would torture him. They would kill him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jack was compromised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I bit my lip until I could taste blood. My eyes refused to stay in one spot. My arms tightened around my stomach and my breathing became sharp and ragged as I fought against the liquid pooling in my eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no words of comfort for my little girl. I had none for myself either. I had tried so hard to not need those words. Pretend that this didn't bother me, wasn't wrenching cell from it's mooring and turning it inside out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No." it came out in a ragged burst of breath, barely audible. My knees found the ground. "No."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seeing my reaction, Sydney's face twisted in fear. I was her mother. I was here to offer comfort yet I had none. I don't know when she left. I only hope she found someone's arms. Someone to hold her together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He'd never know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He'd never know and I would be here in misery for the rest of my life because of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was tired of pretending and there was no one here to hold my jagged edges together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My words became keening wails of nonsense and disbelief.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So helpless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So hopeless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Trapped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Were they planning on telling me ever? Would they keep me informed?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I jumped to my feet and rushed at the glass. Pounding against it with my fists. I had to get out. Had to get to him. Think of something. Save him from the devil himself. If Sloane could do this to Jack, then no one was safe. No it didn't make sense... Sloane wouldn't have the balls to compromise Jack. He'd defend him until all else failed. Unless he had some other plan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Had I misjudged the man? I knew he was a snake, but I honestly couldn't see him hurting Jack.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Where was everyone?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My pounding did nothing. I got no attention from it. My hands were red and raw before I stopped pounding, however. The air was full of the smell of my sweat and exhaustion before I stopped slamming against the glass. My throat dry and horse before the stream of Russian curses stopped tumbling from my lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why would no one come? I was his god damn legal wife! I deserved to know if my fucking husband was going to die at that fucking rat's hands!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Swinging my fist against the glass one last time I paced toward my cot. Back and forth, trying to figure out the puzzle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was someone forcing Sloane's hand?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How was Jack compromised?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Did they know about Sydney?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What was happening?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The lack of knowledge was paralyzing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It would be forty seven hours, twelve minutes, and fifty eight seconds before anyone brought me any news.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After all I'd done for them.... the fucking CIA could have kept me informed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was still pacing and puzzling when I heard the gates open. Quickly I pressed myself to the glass to try and see who was coming. Forgetting to play disenchantment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"We need to know about Sark." His voice was manna.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stepping back from the glass I turned my head to hide the stray tears of joy that I couldn't contain. Swallowing, I steeled myself for his coldness. His distance. When I turned to face him my face was blank and unrelenting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I see you made it out ok."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Thanks to the resourcefulness of our daughter." I offered him a brief nod and blinked back more emotion. "I'm sure that's a great disappointment to you. I know how much you dislike me standing in the way of you manipulating Sydney. Now about Sark."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Despite what you want to believe Jack...I never wanted you dead... Is Sydney ok?" He nodded. I answered with a nod of my own and did the only thing I could do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I told him everything I knew about Sark.</p>
<p> </p>
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